Superstitions
by Emi Sekelnors
Summary: When you play with fire, you end up getting burned. Based on TV show episodes but remixed by giving them my little touch. A rhekker stoty.
1. Chapter 1

Hi it's my first fiction in English so it probably gonna have mistakes (please do not kill me 😁). Don't be afraid of giving me your opinion (good or bad).

Enjoy !

* * *

It was on Monday afternoon, the ER were quiet, too quiet. Dr. Bekker had just take her shift when she saw Dr. Rhodes.

"Morning Dr. Rhodes

\- Hi …

\- Wahoo is someone dead ? You look really gloomy.

\- No there is something strange, I such have a bad feeling about this shift.

\- Why ? The ER are quiet today.

\- Never say that again !

\- But it's true the whole weekend was calm and this day seems to be the same"

Connors was very angry and Ava noticed that because she saw that little vein on Dr. Rhodes forehead which traduce his irritation.

" Ow wait does the famous Dr. Rhodes would it be superstitious? She says, giving him a smile.

\- I'm not superstitious, I just don't want to force the destiny. So can you please stop telling that word ?

\- Which word ?

\- The Q**** word !"

Dr. Latham arrived, a parking collapsed in the center of the city. There were lot of injured people and they probably needs CT surgeons on there.

Dr. Rhodes glares Ava " what did I tell you ?

\- And you want to make me believe that you're not superstitious.

\- We'll finish this conversation later"

When they arrived, an huge and heavy cloud of dust was covering the entire area. They definitely couldn't see anything. A firefighter comes, gives them masks and advises them to wear it.

A man was under the rubble. The rescue team succeeded to find a path but the man's leg was stuck and he was loosing a lot of blood.

That guy had a lot of chance because during the collapse he had been protected by some concrete blocks forming a cave into the remains. Unfortunately a metal barre from one of these blocks had penetrate his leg. The amount of blood present around him indicated that the femoral artery was injured.

Deducing that, Dr. Bekker put her hand on the wound to provide it from bleeding. They absolutely needed to get this man out of here. Dr. Rhodes suggested to cut the metal barre but Rick, the firefighter who was with them says that it was too dangerous. The vibrations caused by the circular saw can produced a second collapse. So they decided to cut his leg, but it required more stuff. Dr. Bekker hand was the only thing that keeps her patient alive, so she was also stocked there. Dr. Rhodes had to go back looking for more instruments.

As he was out the ground shocked and the entry of the path was blocked.


	2. Chapter 2

Hi, here is the chapter 2, I hope you'll love it.

Enjoy !

* * *

Connor was chocked, two seconds later and he will be crushed under the concrete blocks. But je quickly comes to his senses remembering that Ava was still under the rubble. Firefighter for the 51 were called for more help and Casey saw Connor away.

"Connor? Are you ok?

\- I'm fine but Dr. Bekker, a rescuer, Rick I think and our patient are already blocked there, he pointed a pile of blocks.

\- Ok, I'll call the other to start the research. Can you joint them ?

\- I'll try Ava's phone"

Casey went and prevented the other squad.

Connor called Ava but she didn't answer, he tries a dozen times until Herrmann shouted to everyone to stop. Connor who was concerned comes next to the firefighter and immediately recognized Ava's phone ringtone.

They started removing the rocks and found a minute breach giving on the cave.

"Ava ? Ava do your ear me ?

\- Connor … she said slightly

\- Are you ok ?

\- I'm stuck …

\- And you Rick ?

\- The same my leg is blocked"

Connor takes a flashlight from one of the firefighter to get more lighting and see in the cave. Rick has a concrete block on his left leg. He can't saw Ava who was separated from Rick by the block.

" What about our patient, asked Ava.

\- He is dead, replied Connor.

\- No, you can't be sure if you don't take his pulse.

\- Listen to my Ava, he is dead, he told her looking at the huge amount of debits lying on place of their patient"

Suddenly the ground was shaking again but thankfully, it didn't cause an other breakdown. Ava was absolutely terrified and started breathing faster. She was making a panic attack.

For Rick it was complicated, the tremor moved the concrete block and now he was bleeding out.

"Ok Ava, listen to me everything is gone be fine, we'll get you out of here. Rick can you make something to stop the bleeding?

\- Yeah I'm trying to make a withers with my belt.

\- Ava you think you can get away?

\- I've free my hand but I suspect a fracture. I'm going to try to remove stones from my abdomen.

\- Wait ! Do you feel your legs ? Any bleeding?

\- I'm a doctor too Connor you remember?"

The young doctor finally succeeded to get off the stones from her belly. She was now able to move easily even if she didn't have a lot of space. Fortunately, the first aid kits were remained nearby so Ava can make a splint for her wrist. It was at this moment that she saw Rick's leg with a big amount of blood on the ground. She was worried, the firefighter didn't say anything from a long time.

"Rick … you're still with us ?

\- Yes I was just thinking …"

She could feel the weakness in his voice and knows that he lost too much blood.

"Rick you should try to compress the wound.

\- I can't, I'm so tired and so cold. Please Dr. Bekker tell to my wife and my kids that I love them and my last thoughts were for them …

\- I won't say anything to anyone, you're not gonna die down here. I've already lost a patient today I'm not gonna lose you too"

Connor was worried, he can't saw what was doing Ava. She took some gauze compress, needles and a tubing.

"Ava what are you doing ?

\- I'm saving his life, he needs blood and I'm universal donor.

\- That's crazy you're gonna make an hypovolemic shock.

\- I can't stay here watching him die , he saves my life. If he wasn't there I'll be dead.

\- It's gonna take time to free you, you'll have lost too much blood, he said trying to reason her.

\- You've got 40 minutes, she said, pulling the needle into her arm"


	3. Chapter 3

Here's the new chapter, I guess you'll enjoy it. I want to thanks you for reading, commenting and following this story. I'm actually searching for a beta reader to increase the quality of my story so if you are interested you can contact me.

Enjoy !

* * *

Twenty minutes had passed and the amount of debris seems to be always full. Connor was frenetically watching his watch while talking to Ava who was on the edge of unconsciousness.

"Avey

\- …

\- Ava please answer me!

\- Yeah …

\- You're gonna pass out!

\- I won't get this tube out before he got out of there. I'm sorry Connor…

\- Why ?

\- I forced fate this morning …

\- No you're not responsible for this, it was just some superstitions. By the way, you were right, I might be a little superstitious"

Casey arrived and tapped Connor's shoulder. The news wasn't great, they had to clear the access first and get Rick out of there before they could reach Ava. Connor was worried, Ava was so weak. He didn't know if she can handle another twenty minutes there.

Ten minutes later the rescue team was ready to get Rick out. Connor gave them all the instructions. The ambulances were all set. They prevented the Chicago Med, Dr. Latham was waiting for Rick with the surgery team.

Before the firefighter get down, Connor asked Casey to remove the tube from Ava arm of he can reach it.

The rescue team was very effective, they get Rick out in five minutes. Now they could easily had access to Ava. Connor couldn't wait anymore and get down to check her. She was so pale, her breathing and pulse were very fast. He tried to woke her up.

"Hey Avey you need to stay with me okay?

\- Did we did it ?

\- Yes you did it but you need to fight again!

\- …

\- No no Avey stay with me! Ava!"

The rescue team get them out of there and put Ava in an ambulance.

When they arrived to Chicago Med her condition was worrying.

"Ava Bekker, pulse 130, rapid breathing, pulse ox 70, BP 80 over 50. Stage tree hypovolemia, received a unit of saline solution, put on high flow oxygen.

\- Dr. Halstead Trauma 2, said Maggie.

\- We move her on my count. One, two, three. I need two unit of O neg and the echo"

They saw a large amount of blood in her abdomen, she was doing an internal bleeding. They moved her up to surgery.

Connor felt powerless and he hated it. He was waiting, sitting on the floor in the OR hallway. Three hours passed before the surgeon get out of the OR.

"She's gonna be fine, the bleeding is under control and there was no organ damage. They need to do some additional care and exams but I guess you can see her in two hours"

Connor was relieved, he took advantage of the two hours to wait to take a shower, change his clothes and check in on Rick.

Three hours later, Connor was sitting on a chair next to Ava's bed. Her vitals were stable again. She slowly opened her eyes, she was feeling so weak.

"Hey sleeping beauty, how do you feel?

\- I feel like a truck ran over me and I'm thirsty.

\- I'll give you some water, it's normal you've lost a lot of blood.

\- And what about Rick ?

\- He will be fine, thanks to you. It reminds me that someone wanted to see you"

Rick's wife entered in the room with a five years old boy. She thanks Ava for saving her husband, the little boy came and gave her a cute drawing with the words "you're my hero" wrote on it.

"What a beautiful drawing. Can you please make something for me ?"

As an answer the little boy nodded his head.

"I want you to do the same drawing for your father because he is the one who saves me first, it's him the hero"

The boy was so happy his dad was a hero. Both left to let Ava rest. The woman turned around to thank Ava once again for her husband but also for what she had said to her son.


	4. Chapter 4

Here is the new chapter !

Thank you for all your support

Enjoy !

* * *

CHAPTER 4

The first week was difficult, she was used to her independence but Connor insisted on staying with her to make sure everything was going well. He had behaved like a perfect loving husband. The problem? They were just colleagues and friends, Connor didn't have to do that. Ava was very happy that he was there for her, her body was still very sore and she still felt weak. Their days were punctuated by television programs and their stomachs gurgling synchronously at mealtime. In the evening Ava went to bed while Connor, used to go to sleep later, stayed in the living room reading cardiology publications until sleep took over. Ava's couch was quite comfortable but the young woman felt guilty about making him sleep there. She hadn't wanted to go to Connor's house because she didn't want to disturb him anymore and, knowing him, she knew that he would have made it a point of honor for her to sleep in his bed.

One day, around 11pm, Ava woke up with a start, pearls of sweat dripping on her forehead, her eyes were filled with terror and she let a little scream pass. Connor, who was still awake, rushed into his room.

"Are you all right, Avey? Does it hurt?"

The young woman did not answer, trying to concentrate on her breathing in order to calm down.

Connor sat down next to her and hugged her, Ava had just made a nightmare terror.

"Hey, it's okay, I'm here, it's okay"

The young woman eventually went back to sleep, her head resting on Connor's chest, who used to sleep bare-chested. Not wishing to wake her up, he stayed in this position and eventually fell asleep.

The next day, Connor woke up early, because Ava had had a very troubled night and he took a few blows. He was making breakfast when she woke up.

"Morning,

\- Sorry about that night...

\- Do you want to talk about it?

\- Not really, no."

As the days passed and the nightmares intensified, Connor was worried. They became so frequent that he ended up sleeping with Ava. Not that it bothered him, the bed was much more comfortable than the couch, but he was sincerely beginning to care about Ava's health.

4 weeks had passed since the accident, Ava had recovered from her operation but her wrist was still immobilized. That was the only reason she had not yet returned to work. But today that was going to change, we were finally going to remove her cast, she could go back to work in two or three days.

"So impatient?" asked Connor.

\- You can't even imagine, I miss surgery so much.

\- Maybe you should talk to Dr. Charles about your nightmares.

\- No, it's nothing, it's just a way my mind has to express the emotions of the accident, nothing to worry about."

Surprisingly, the next two nights were quiet, Ava had no nightmares and for the first time in four weeks Connor was also able to sleep without kicking himself.

Everyone was happy to see Ava back at the Chicago Med, except maybe Mrs. Goodwin who knew that the soap opera between Connor and Ava would start again and she was not disappointed. After only one day of working together, they had already argued about a patient.

Everything was back to the way it was before, except for the fact that Connor was still living at Ava's. Even though she had almost no more nightmares, he preferred to stay close to her just in case.

One day, while watching television after a long day of work, a breaking news appeared.

"General alert for this Monday, multiple medium amplitude earthquakes are to be feared, remain vigilant"

After that she went to the shower and went to bed, Connor was working late and she didn't have the courage to wait for him.

In the middle of the night, Ava woke up in panic, she was convinced that the building had just collapsed. She understood early on that it was only a nightmare but Connor was still not there, there was no one to reassure her. Her breathing was getting so fast that she was beginning to feel her limbs go numb. She got up, went to get a plastic bag and started breathing in it. She was finally beginning to calm down when a slight tremor was felt, so she had not totally dreamt, the day of the earthquakes had indeed begun. Once her breathing returned to normal, she went back to bed but the tremors, even if they were light, kept her awake. In addition, she began to experience severe stomach pain. Knowing that she would not be able to sleep, she sat on the couch and turned on the television.

When Connor came home, he found her asleep on the couch. He took it and gently put it in his bed before joining her five minutes later. They were awakened by a stronger tremor than the previous ones. Ava was pale and grinning.

"Are you all right?

\- Just camps... it'll pass."

He went to get her an antispasmodic and went back to sleep, which was not the case with Ava.


	5. Chapter 5

Here's the new chapter, first I want to thank you for all your comment. It makes me so happy to read it, you can't imagine.

Enjoy!

* * *

CHAPTER 5

When Connor woke up, Ava was already awake. In fact, she hadn't slept all night but she didn't want to worry him and omitted that detail. She was in her underwear making coffee in the kitchen.

"Already awake? Are you feeling better?

\- Yes, I told you it was just cramps," she lied.

The drugs had had no effect and she continued to have cramps. They prepared themselves and went to work. Mrs Goodwin began the day with a short speech about the upcoming day.

"As you have probably heard, on this day our state will suffer many earthquakes of medium magnitude. There will probably be many injured. Most infrastructure is strong enough to withstand it, but we know that this is far from being the case for Chicago homes. At the hospital, no worries, you will be safe, but avoid using the elevators and especially during the tremors, it is a matter of common sense. Thank you, it is time to get to work, everything must be ready before the first victims arrive. Good work to all of you"

Connor was called in for valve surgery, so Ava was on call for emergencies and CT. As she was going up from the locker rooms to the emergency room, she was cramped again. Their intensities had increased even more. They were so sudden that Ava did not have time to catch up at the ramp and rushed down the few steps she had already climbed. When she regained these spirits the cramps had stopped but now her whole body was hurting her. She got up and went back to the emergency room as if nothing had happened.

The wounded began to flow in and the emergencies were quickly overwhelmed.

"Incoming! - Female in her thirties, received an electric shock, tachycardic, pulse rate 130, low saturation.

\- Dr. Bekker, trauma one.

\- On my count, 1, 2, 3"

Ava grinned, her fall down the stairs would probably leave some bruises.

"She's in V-fib."

The new intern grabbed the defibrillation paddles and shocked the young woman for the first time. She was still in fibrillation. As he was preparing to try again, Ava leaned a little closer to the heart monitor. She then took the young woman's pulse.

"Clear!

\- Wait" exclaimed Ava.

For the young intern to shock had become so mechanical that he did not hear Ava's exclamation and sent the discharge. He became extremely pale when he understood what had just happened. Ava was lying on the ground completely unconscious. Did the young man who was tetanized just kill Dr. Bekker? Maggie, who had witnessed the scene from the nurses' office, rushed into the room.

"Dr. Bekker, can you hear me, Ava?"

She was relieved when she heard the doctor's breathing spontaneously resume. Ava then opened her eyes and tried to get up, but Maggie stopped her.

"Slow down, you just took a hell of a dump.

\- I'm fine, Maggie.

\- I'll page Connor.

\- No, there's no point in making him worry for nothing"

She took her wrist in her hands and felt her pulse.

"My pulse is steady, no sign of arrhythmia.

\- You should still get an EKG.

\- I'll make one during my break."

Ava was stubborn and Maggie knew she couldn't persuade her.

Meanwhile, they had managed to revive the patient's heart and took her up to cardiology for tests.

It was around noon, Ava was in the rest room and holding her EKG in her hands. The day had barely begun when she couldn't take it anymore. Her whole body was hurting. Connor entered the room and rushed towards Ava. She saw by his eyes that Maggie had told him about the incident.

"I'm fine.

\- What you did was totally stupid, Ava!

\- It's okay I'm a CT surgeon I think I'd know if something was wrong!

\- Is that what you said last time and what was the result? You bled out, you almost died!

\- I told you it was okay, I did an EKG for safety, I'm not totally stupid."

She took her EKG, got up and gave it to Connor violently.

"In case you have any doubts about my reading skills"

She left the room followed closely by Connor. It was at this point that Mrs Goodwin arrived to check the situation in the various departments.

"Ava...

\- Go to hell!

\- I see that everything is back to the way it was," Ms Goodwin said.

Connor didn't have time to answer that his pager started ringing.

In the CT department, Ava's pager also started to sound, one of the valves they had replaced yesterday was leaking, she had to reopen the patient.

As time passed, the surgery was still only at its beginning when the ground started shaking again, which made the operation even more delicate. To avoid any improvement, the cramps appeared again. The nurses in the O.R. were worried, they saw Ava fade visibly.

"Dr. Bekker, are you sure you're all right?

\- I'm fine, it's just cramps. It'll pass."

The ground was shaking more and more and more and the intensity of the cramps seemed to follow the same pattern. Ava stepped back from the table, she could no longer continue without risking the patient's life.

"Dr. Bekker?

\- Page Dr. Rhodes.

\- Is everything all right?

\- Yes, just page Dr. Rhodes."

She came out of surgery, took off her surgeon's outfit and headed for the wake room.

"You just need to lie down for a moment," she thought.

But the cramps got stronger and stronger, so much so that she was forced to stop in the middle of the corridor. Nathalie, who was passing by, was worried about seeing her friend in this state. Ava was folded in half and of an unprecedented pallor.

"Ava, are you all right?

\- Yes, just cramps.

\- You should lie down.

\- That's what I was going to do."

The pain seemed to be subsiding, so Ava decided to get up and continue on her way to the rest room.

She took barely two steps when she felt a terrible pain in her stomach. Her head began to hurt and turn. These eyes became heavy, she felt, her body hit the ground and then nothing.


	6. Chapter 6

Here's the new chapter. I was very sad to learn of the departure of Colin and Norma but their characters will always live through my mind and fiction. By the way, I hope you will enjoy this new chapter, don't hesitate to tell me what you think about it in commentary.

Enjoy!

* * *

"Ava! I need a stretcher," Nathalie shouted.

When she woke up in a trauma room, she felt dizzy and nauseous. It got worse when she tried to get up. Nat had just the time to give her an emesis basin before she threw up.

"Okay Maggie can you page Latham or Rhodes?

\- Wait no!

\- Ava you've been shocked this morning, your heart rate is 120 and it's increasing. You fainted and threw up. It can match with heart condition.

\- Don't page CT! It's not the heart. I've made an EKG this morning everything was fine.

\- So how do you explain what happened?

\- I told you it's just cramps … I didn't take breakfast this morning and that's why I fainted, she said, grinning in pain.

\- I'm gonna have a look to your abdomen"

As she was in pain, Ava didn't grumble. When Nat lifted up her shirt, she was horrified to saw all these bruises.

"Ava! What happened?

\- I felt down in the stairs …

\- When did this happened? And how?

\- This morning, when leaving the locker room. I've got a cramp and I felt.

\- Since when did it started? Ask Nat by examining Ava stomach.

\- This night"

Ava moans when Nat pressed on her scar. She was worried about Ava's condition and ask for a scan, an echo and a blood test.

"I've got your results. As we could expected your suffering from a concussion probably due to your fall. However the rest of your results are fine, so for the moment I don't know cramps come from. I'll give you some pain meds but I would like to keep you in observation because your heart rate and blood pressure are too high"

Nat had already prepared a whole argument to convince the young woman to stay but surprisingly Ava didn't oppose and directly accepted. Dr. Manning was happy but also worried, the pain should be unbearable for Ava to agree to stay.

Ava had been moved to the observation bay but painkillers didn't seem to work and her vitals becomes instable.

It was about 3.00 pm when Connor get out of surgery, now he wanted to know why Ava left surgery without any explanations. He went to the ER and asked a nurse where the Dr. Bekker was.

"I think she went to observation room 223," she said without specifying that Ava was there as a patient.

Connor went there and entered the room without looking who was inside.

"Dr. Bekker can I talk you? He said before seeing her in the bed.

\- Don't panic, it's not the heart.

\- What? What happened? Why are you being monitored?"

She explained him what had happened and why she left the OR.

The pain had become very hard to support. Dr. Manning didn't understood why the painkillers didn't work and had no idea of the source of the pain. She was in the ER and was reviewing Ava results. Ava had passed a battery of test but no one of them showed significant results.

"Everything Okay Dr. Manning? You seem disturbed, said .

\- It's about Dr. Bekker, she got severe abdominal pain but all her tests are normal and she doesn't respond to painkillers.

\- Is the pain come from a specific localization?

\- Her scar was the most sensible.

\- Interesting, and what if her pain didn't come from physiologic reasons?

\- What are you thinking about?

\- Dr. Bekker was under a lot of stress one month ago, it may come from there. Moreover the earthquake can easily remind her the situation.

\- You're thinking to PTSD?

\- Let me talk to her and we will see"

When came in, Ava was surprised and confused.

"What are you doing here?

\- Just want to talk with you.

\- Don't beat around the bush.

\- I think you're suffering from PTSD.

\- What! No! I'm not crazy, the pain is real.

\- Yes of course you're not crazy and the pain is absolutely real but I think that she has no physiological source.

\- No I'm fine that's stupid I shouldn't have accept to stay! Can you let me alone please"

At this moment Connor beeper turned on. Ava looked at him and told him to go, that she will be fine.

After one hour the pain seemed to have stopped so Ava decided to came back home.

When Connor finished his surgery he went back to Ava surprised to see that she wasn't there. He asked Dr. Manning who told him that she discharged herself and leave. Connor was furious why was she acting so stupidly? He decided to leave, worried about the fact that she took her car with a concussion.

He was relieved to see that his car was in front of his apparent. Nevertheless, when he entered, he heard crying comming from the bedroom. Ava was curled up on the floor of her dressing room. The room was very small, so small that you could hardly call it a dressing room.

"Ava?

\- I can't …

\- What can't you do?

\- Dr. Charles was right, I can't close the door…"

Connor came next to her, helped her to get up, leaded her to the bed and wrapped her in his arms.

"Ava, you're the most stubborn and strong woman I know. You're gonna get through all this, I'm sure. Everything is gonna be okay.

\- Thank you Con, love you, she said before falling asleep"


	7. Chapter 7

So I know it has been a long time since my last post but I had study for my exams and after that to pass my exams. And to be honest I lost the impulse to write but it's back ! I can't tell you when the suite will be available because I'm in internship and I have exams to take in August. But the good news is that I have ideas again (too many ideas). And as always I encourage you to give me your opinion (good or bad). I hope you will appreciate this suite.

PS: Colin Donnell and Norma Kuhling are back for one episode to end their story.

Enjoy !

* * *

Months have passed since the day Ava figured out for her PTSD problem. She was much better and had concluded with Dr. Charles that she could stop the sessions. But she absolutely had to tell him if she had any new anxiety episodes. Everything was finally back to normal, or almost. They hadn't really thought about the situation, Ava had offered Connor to keep some clothes at home so he could be more comfortable and he finally moved in. They had never asked themselves what their relationship was exactly. One night when Ava was really not well, Connor kissed her and she kissed him back. Since that day, they had been living their little love at home like an old couple who never showed love in public. Not that they were trying to hide but at work, when they worked together they were constantly arguing.

"Connor … Connor! We are going to be late." She said kicking him gently.

"Again five minutes please," he answered, taking her with him to the bed, "I bet it's quiet today."

"Connor Rhodes who says the Q word, you're sure you didn't steal hours of therapy with Dr. Charles from me?"

"Shower?"

"If it can make you move your little ass from my bed"

They had only been in the hospital for a few minutes that Dr. Rhodes had already been called urgently to the operating room for a man who had been stabbed in the chest.

"And you said it was going to be a quiet day…"

Goodwin informed Ava that she would have to pick up the VIP at the airport instead of Connor. His name was Travis Scott, he was one of the hospital investors. Six months ago, he had been operated on by Dr. Rhodes for a valve replacement. He was in South Africa when he felt ill and decided to come back early to check on his heart.

Ava didn't particularly like helicopters. For her it was like a small, noisy and unstable flying box. Fortunately, Dr. Charles had given her tips on how to overcome this kind of situation. These consultations helps her a lot in general, even though there were still some shadow areas that the doctor would have liked to explore before ending their interviews. But after some consideration, he was convinced that it was better not to dig too deep in this direction. He didn't know what she was hiding, but he had figured out that for the moment Ava was still too psychologically fragile to deal with it.

Once at the airport, Dr. Bekker was taken to Mr. Scott's private jet. He was sitting in his seat sipping a glass of Scotch. He scanned her from head to toe and gave her a look of contempt before staring at the entrance. His assistant seemed surprised, she stared at her for a few seconds before falling back on her tablet.

"I'm Dr. Bekker, I …" She didn't have time to finish her sentence as the man interrupted her. "You're late, tell Dr. Rhodes to hurry up, I'm starting to lose patience."

"Dr. Rhodes has had an impediment, I'm the one who's going to be in charge of you."

The man pouted and looked at her with a kind of disgust and superiority. "Don't you think I'm going to let Dr. Rhodes' assistant grope me?"

"Actually I'm not this assistant, as I was introducing me, I'm Dr. Bekker and I'm a cardiothoracic surgeon"

"I know that accent, you're from South Africa, if they sent you to sweeten me up, you're missing it. I'm not going to let a stranger with a bush diploma, who is also a woman, take care of my health. "

Ava was shocked she had already suffered racist and misogynistic insults but she had not seen so much disgust and madness in a man's eyes. She felt such anger inside her that she almost wished that this man's valve was indeed leaking and that he would die on the way. She took a deep breath and regained her self-control, it was going to be a long day...

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear anything and you're going to listen to me. Dr. Rhodes won't be able to come before at least 5 hours. If your valve is actually leaking as we expected, by the time we wait for him and get to the hospital it will be too late. In addition, we're gonna have to wait 5 hours together and I know that neither you nor I want to. So if you'll let me examine you so we can get this over with as soon as possible."

The man looked furious, maybe Ava had just played her career. He put down his glass, opened his shirt and looked through the window. Dr. Bekker took out her stethoscope and listened to the heart. She noticed a slight murmur that was not present at Mr. Scott's checkup. She took his blood pressure, which was slightly low. And his temperature was high. She took out the portable ultrasound and looked carefully at each valve. There was a small leak but it was not due to a complication it must have had another origin. Mr. Scott being stable, she had him transported to the Chicago Med.

The travel was quite long, so Ava tried to find out where his fever could have come from, but the man didn't say a word. His assistant was trying to lighten the mood. It was strange because she seemed to fade visibly. Ava asked her if everything was fine and she replied that she probably had eaten something not fresh. For safety, Ava took her vitals. Her heart was beating fast, her blood pressure was low and she had a fever just like Mr. Scott. They also had the same symptoms, cough, fatigue, fever but have different timings. Asking more questions, she began to worry, they didn't eat the same thing, didn't have the same activities and didn't share the same room. The idea of a contagious disease crossed Ava's mind. She couldn't take any risks. Fortunately, at the airport no one had been in contact with them. She contacted the Chicago Med by radio. "This is Dr. Ava Bekker arriving with two patients from South Africa, it could be a contagious disease, please activate the containment protocol as soon as we arrive."

"What does that mean?" Asked the man.

"It means we're gonna have to stay together for a while longer..."


	8. Chapter 8

Hello ! I found some time to write and as if by chance while studying my imagination is running at full speed (which doesn't really help me in my study but that's another problem). I hope you will enjoy this new chapter, but first of all I would like to thank you very much for all your votes and comments. I don't know if you can imagine how happy I am. Every time I see that I have a new comment I jump for joy (literally and figuratively) so a big thank you to you. Now I stop talking and let you read.

Enjoy !

* * *

CHAPTER 8

Once there, Ava, Mr. Scott, his assistant and the two pilots were taken care of by a team in biohazard protective suits. Since the pilots had not been in direct contact with the potentially infected persons, they were placed in a separate isolation room.

Connor, who like more than half of the hospital was aware of the situation, had gone to the isolation rooms to assess the situation. Ava was sitting on the bed, she didn't seem sick. When she saw it, she rushed towards the window.

"You shouldn't be with them, maybe you haven't been infected. It is far too dangerous for you to stay in this room" Despite the wall that separated them, Ava could hear all the anxiety in her voice.

"Look Connor, I talked to his assistant and they weren't what you might define as close. So either the disease is contagious and is easily transmitted by direct contact and in this case it is very likely that I am infected. Either it's a false alarm and I'm not risking anything serious by staying here. In addition, I am a doctor, I know how to take vitals and perform procedures if necessary."

"I know, but I still wish I'd known you were in another room. And if it's only for staff reasons, I'll put it on a thousand times their suit."

"Seriously, Connor, you've already tried to put in an IV, intubate someone or anything else with these astronaut suits, it's nearly impossible."

Connor knew she was right, but before he could tell her he loves her, they were cut off by the CDC doctors. They wanted to talk to Ava to clarify the symptoms presented by the patients and to gather as much information as possible about their movements. Getting information was not an easy task. Mr. Scott could barely look at Ava and his assistant looked overwhelmed. She wouldn't drop her phone or tablet and when she seemed to take a break, her boss glanced at her with a sharp eye and she would dive back into her screens. Since the current symptoms were not specific, the doctors asked Ava to take a bunch of samples of all kinds. It was going to be a long wait.

Once she had finished, Ava returned to Connor who had been waiting for her. They remained, one in front of the other, hand against hand, separated by this transparent wall supposed to protect them but for the moment all they wanted was to be embraced in each other's arms. They were interrupted by Connor's pager, which started beeping.

"You should go, there's nothing more you can do here. They need you there."

"Try to stay alive... love you" His eyes expressed so much, anger, why did it have to happen to the woman he loves? Fear, he thought he had lost her so many times. Admiration, she was so strong even after all she had experienced. But above all love, he loved her so much, he would do anything for her.

"Love you too."

Connor left and Ava went back to sit on her bed, she needed to do something or she was going to go crazy. Fortunately, she had been able to access her computer. She then began to research diseases that could match the symptoms but the list was too long.

As time passed, CDC agents were finally able to determine that only Ava, Mr. Scott and his assistant were sick, but there was no indication of what was wrong with them, and even less if they had contracted the same disease. Both pilots were released as research on the pathogen intensified.

Mr. Scott and his assistant were deteriorating. They were having more and more difficulty breathing, and Mr. Scott had been given oxygen. As for Ava, she had none of the symptoms. She had to find out what made them so sick.

"Suzanne, right? I would like you to give me as much detail as possible about Mr. Scott's activities during his stay. There could be crucial information about the cause of this disease."

"It was a trip for Mr. Scott's hobby, he's a fan of ornithology, of all flying animals actually."

Mr. Scott abruptly interrupted the conversation and forbade his assistant to say anything more. Ava, who was beginning to get used to Mr. Scott's behavior, gave him a black look.

"If you want to die, that's your problem. But there are people here who would like to survive so either you help us or you shut up and die in silence." Ava was so upset with Mr. Scott. She had never gotten so angry with a patient like that before, but that was too much. A few seconds later, Dr. Bekker resumed the conversation she had started with Suzanne.

"So where were you exactly in South Africa?"

"I don't really remember the name Tackumba, maybe."

"It was near Kuthumba..." Mr. Scott sharply said.

At that moment Ava had an insight, she was almost certain to know what was making them sick.

"You didn't go there for the birds, you went to the bat caves, right?" The man struggled to answer and seemed to avoid the doctor's eyes. "I'm not from the police, Mr. Scott, I don't care that you went to these caves which are only authorized for scientists. But I need you to confirm that you were there."

"Yes, I did go there, but I didn't think it could be dangerous. I thought it was like all those other places that were off-limits to the public, that it was just for preservation and other ecological bullshit."

"It's not just for ecological bullshit as you say. These caves promote the development of potentially deadly bacteria in bat droppings. That's why they're banned from the general public, you need biohazard suits to get in." Ava felt numb for a few moments and felt a sharp itch in her neck as a wave of memories invaded her. She pulled herself together, looked at Suzanne and Monsieur's neck before pressing the call button frantically.

Maggie rushed to the room. "Is everything all right?"

"Call the CDC guys, I know what we're suffering from!"


	9. Chapter 9

So, so, so it's been a long time and I'm really sorry but the "back-to-school" was not easy this year, administrative and lodging problems. When finally everything came back to normal, I had to catch up on the delay I had taken. Happily for you (well, I hope so), I had a surge of motivation and I wrote 2 chapters. The bad news is that the next chapter I wrote isn't the following of that one so I can't tell you when will be the next update but I'm not giving up on this fiction. Ava deserve a better end than the once they gave us (in my opinion). I'll put a note at the end about one point but no spoiler. There are probably conjugation errors but I try to do my best and he is 23h50 when I write this so I'm already more or less asleep. I can't upload it tomorrow because I really have to study. I hope you'll appreciate.

Enjoy !

CHAPTER 9

"Coxiella burnetii chiropterae... You're sure? It's a rare bacteria."

"Symptoms match, cough, high fever, rash on the neck, respiratory and cardiac failure. It is highly contagious and is transmitted through the respiratory tract. In addition, my patient has been in an endemic area. Specific tests must be carried out, this bacteria doesn't grow on a normal culture environment."

The man seemed skeptical so Ava insisted.

"It doesn't cost you anything to try. Please."

The man nodded before going back to the CDC HQ. Ava sat on her bed, this situation reminded her one of the worse period in her life. And she was alone, without Connor to wrap her in his arms. She tried to convince herself that she wasn't sick, she knew this disease better than anyone else. It always appeared in the same way and she didn't had the first symptoms so she couldn't be sick, the itch in her neck should be psychosomatic. When Connor came, she tried to persuade him that she was okay, he didn't need to worry more about her physical and mental health so she was acting like everything was fine.

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yes as I lived in South Africa a may be immunized for that disease" She definitely wasn't okay, all these memories that came back, it began to be hardest to support. She was a beautiful liar and she knew exactly how to hide her emotions but Connor wasn't fooled by it. He could see that something was wrong. Unfortunately he had to go and see after his patients but he tried to come back to check on Ava as more as possible.

Hours passed and Ava was feeling even worse. She was so cold, last time she remember being so cold it was when she was sick from the same disease in her childhood.

"No, it can't be fever, I don't have cough, this disease always gives cough it should be psychosomatic like when I had my post-traumatic stress syndrome." That was what she was repeating in her head. She wasn't sick, she didn't want to be sick but she was feeling so bad.

When Connor came he immediately saw that she wasn't fine. She was fading and shivering.

"Ava stop lying to me I see that you're not okay."

"No I told you, I'm tired and a little bit stressed that's all"

"So you have no problem taking your temperature?"

"I don't have fever!"

"If you don't take it I'll come and take it by myself"

She didn't want to argue with him now so she got up to take the thermometer, she suddenly feel so weak and her head was turning.

"It's nothing, it's just because you didn't eat today that's all"

She took the thermometer and pointed it on her forehead. It didn't take a long time before it ring.

"Show me." Connor asked but before she can do anything she collapsed on the floor. Connor rushed into the airlock and put on a suit. Ava started convulsing so he abandoned the suit and hurried inside. He took the thermometer, it indicated 106.34°F / 41,3°C. He was angry with Ava, why did she always have to do stupid things? But he didn't have time to think about that now, he absolutely had to lower Ava's temperature. He lay her on the bed, called some help and started to try to lower her fever. Despite the colds packs and the medication her fever stayed high. So high that she was starting to hallucinate.

"I'm so sorry Mia, I didn't want all of that, I'm sorry, I killed her, that's my fault. He died for me the both died, I killed them"

Connor wasn't understanding what she was talking about but she seems to blame herself so much. By the time, the results came back, they were all positives for Coxiella burnetii chiropterae. Ava was right. Unfortunately there was only one treatment in the world for this bacteria and it was in South Africa. They'll have to wait at least 24 hours before it arrived to Chicago. It was going to be the longest 24 hours of their lives.

Mr. Scott and Suzanne's conditions were getting more and more preoccupying. Doctors had to put them under artificial respiration. The good news was that Ava's fever lowered a bit. She had brief moments of consciousness where she was complaining for being cold. The CDC guys had also ended the quarantine, the good point with this disease was that she wasn't contagious during a long time. They also found that if Ava presentation was abnormal it was because she already have antibodies against the bacteria. It signified that she had already suffered from this disease earlier in her life. Ava had never been contagious.

In the morning they finally received the treatments but once they opened the box their faces have broken down. One of the vials had been broken during the transport so they only had 2 treatments.

"Hey Ava, we received the treatments, you're gonna be okay"

"There is a problem I can see it in your eyes …"

"One of the vials broke during the transport"

"They need it more than me, I refuse you to give me that dose"

"But Ava …"

"No"

"You have to promise me that you can hold on until tomorrow"

She didn't have time to answer that she had already slipped into unconsciousness. Mr. Scott and Suzanne were improving, it was slow but there vitals started to stabilize. Connor wouldn't let Ava out of his sight. He loves her too much to let her go but as time went by, the more disturbing her vital signs became. Connor eventually fell asleep but was awakened by a noise he knew very well, the sound of the monitors getting into a rush. Ava saturation had drop down too much, she was visibly in respiratory failure. They had no choices but to intubate. Her muscles started to weaken from struggling to allow Ava to breathe despite the water that was gradually filling her lungs because of the infection. It was 6pm, they had to wait until 6am, the normal hour of arrival for the treatment. 12 hours and Connor didn't know if Ava would be able to hold on for a long time.

NOTE:

As you probably understand I love medicine and as a medicine student, I like when my story match to the reality but I try to make it digestible for the people who don't know medicine. But if there is thinks you don't understand don't hesitate to write it in the comment and I'll try to put explanations in the notes after the story about some "medical terms".

Also don't worry reality is more boring than it is in the series so I take a real base and I modify it so it became more interesting. So for the most hypochondriacs among us, no Coxiella burnetii chiropterae does not exist in real life (but it is inspired of real facts, yep like in horror films). PS: it's been 15 seasons of Grey's anatomy and they always put their stethoscopes upside down.

And the last one, you may wonder why Ava is always acting "stupidly", it is voluntary and in link with her past that I'm building. I've already devoted a chapter to it, but it's a surprise.

Good night/day (for me it will be night)


	10. Chapter 10

first of all, I want to apologize as always for the long wait but I really don't have any more time to write if (but I'm not giving up). Then, I want to thank you for all your comments, votes, ...

Enjoy !

CHAPTER 10

The cemetery was so quiet, there was no noise. Not even the noise of traffic, nothing, only the slight quivering of the wind rushing into the aisles. It was a cold day, the snow was about to fall. The cemetery was pretty big but Connor knew exactly where to go. He went on the top of the little hill and sat down on an old wooden bench.

"You shouldn't stay here, it's very cold today"

"I know, but I like to come here"

"Let's get home you're freezing Ava"

He hugged her, they got up and walked to the parking lot. He loves her so much.

_Flashback_

Now that the quarantine has been ended, Ava, Suzanne and Mr. Scott had been moved to the intensive care unit. The treatment seems to work pretty well, the doctors were even considering stopping artificial respiration. Ava state was always preoccupying as she didn't receive the treatment yet. She was tachycardic, hypotensive and no medication seemed to have any effect. It was 1 a.m. when her heart started to fibrillate. Fortunately, after two defibrillations it started beating normally again. Connor was totally shattered, he couldn't even imagine losing her. He was so afraid that once Ava's condition stabilized, he threw up in the toilets. She had to hold on five more hours but it wasn't looking good. About thirty minutes later she had another cardiac arrest but once again her heart restart beating. She was strong and she tried to fight, Connor could feel it. Nathalie comes to see how Ava was. The most shocking thing when she came into the room was Connor's condition, he was pale, seemed exhausted and his stomach was rumbling so loudly that it took over the sound of the machines.

"You should go eat something and take a shower"

"I can't let her"

"I'll stay with her if you want … I promise to page you at the slightest sign of trouble"

"I shall not be long"

He went to take a shower, took some clean scrubs and went to the ATM to get some food. On his way back to the ICU he saw the sign indicating the direction of the chapel. He didn't believe in God and hadn't been in a church for years, but he felt attracted. He sent a message to Nathalie to see if Ava was alright. She answered him that nothing had change since he left. He remembers the conversation they had with Ava about being superstitious or not and how fate had proved him that he was right to be superstitious. He decided to get into the chapel, he didn't know what to do so he just decided to sit down and think about Ava and how much he loved her. He ended up falling asleep but woke up suddenly, he looked at his phone, it was 6.30 a.m. and he had several messages and calls from Nathalie. He didn't take the time to read them and ran to Ava's room.

"Ava!"

"Hey slow down Connor, everything is alright, the treatment seems to work"

He glanced at the monitor, her pulse was stable, her blood pressure had risen and her saturation was good. She did it, she survived.

_Flashback end_

"You can tell me, I see that you're not acting like usual since you've been sick"

"It's just … it's complicated and painful"

"I know, when you have high fever, you were hallucinating and you told something … You said that you were sorry, that you kill them"

Ava looked him right in the eyes before collapsing in tears.

"I … I … all the people I loved died … because of me … you shouldn't stay with me. I love you but I don't want you to be hurt or even worse …."

"Hey look at me, I have no intention of leaving this earth any time soon. And for now you're the one that've been hurt" He said while taking her face in his hands and drying her tears.

"I don't know if I can … I never told to anyone else, well, almost … And it didn't turn out well"

"I promise you that it's gonna be okay and if at any moment it's too difficult to continue, we can stop"

She nodded, they got up and sat down on the couch.

"When I was 10, we were leaving with my father in a small village near Kuthumba. It was a small village lost in the forest, we have one primary school, a central place and as my father was a doctor he gained the trust of the people and became the village doctor. We've been here for almost 4 years but some people always treated us like strangers. It was mostly the children at school. I did everything I could to integrate, I spent days studying their cultures, traditions and even the local dialect. But I always remained the stranger. One day, at school, kids were talking about caves where we can't go, it was absolutely forbidden. My father had already told me about it but he had never explained me why we couldn't go there. So I ask them and they explained me that there were spirits and monsters there. I didn't trust them, I never believed to ghost or any things like that. Then Andrew challenged me to go, he was a kind of leader. He told me that it would be like a rite of passage and after that they would no longer consider me as a stranger. He said that I would have the respect of the ancestors. So I accepted. After school, I told my father that I was going to play with the other kids. He was happy because I never want to play with them, the only friend I have was Mia, and she was living in the house next to ours. She was my only and best friend, but that day she was sick. So we go to those caves, on the way Andrew kept scaring me but once we passed the fences I can see that he was terrified. I think he was hoping that I would give up and we could turn back, but I was determined to prove to him that I deserved respect. We were right in front of the entrance, he gave me a flashlight and told me to go into the cave. I had to stay inside for five minutes. I went in, but the further I went, the hotter and wetter it was. Time passed, it was very dark so I turned on my flashlight to see how much longer I had to stay. A second after a bunch of bats came out of nowhere, I rushed to the exit. I literally jumped out of that cave to land at Andrew's feet. He was first surprised by the bats but he regained his seriousness and looked at his watch. I saw a sarcastic smile on his face, I only stayed for 4 minutes. He was so happy that I failed. He was about to say something when we heard some noise from the forest. Guards had been alerted by the bat swarm. I saw his face turn pale, he wanted us to leave but I wanted to try again. He seemed really worried so he told me that it was okay, I passed the test but now we needed to run. And that's what we did. When we got to the village, he made me swear not to tell anyone about it under any circumstances"


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

"Never tell anyone about this, understand? This is serious, Ava, if anyone finds out what happened, I will make your life a living hell"

"I came back home as it was late and I didn't want my father to worry. He asked me where I was and I just told him that we played in the forest. It was strange because it was the first time I really lie to my father. That night I had big difficulties to sleep, I was so excited, the others kids would finally accept me, no more reflections, mockery... But I was also sad because I couldn't tell Mia what happened, she was my best friend I had the feeling that I betrayed her. In the morning I wasn't feeling great. I was really cold and tired but I wanted to check in on Mia anyway. And that's what I did. I told her I was feeling sick. She was sorry because she thought she'd given me her disease. When I went back home my father immediately saw I was sick. In the afternoon, the school called him, Andrew was also sick. The next morning it was the panic in the village, all the kids were sick and some adults started to show symptoms. Fever, cough, fatigue, it was definitely an epidemic. When he saw the rash on my neck he knew. He asked me if I went to the bat caves. At first I denied but I was so tired and I realized it was serious so I told him the truth. We all received the treatment and those who weren't sick were given the vaccine. Everyone was better, except for Mia. I couldn't see her but my father told me she was very sick. One night I heard the door slam, I recognized the voice of Mia's dad, Sam. He sounded sad and extremely angry. I didn't like to hear the adults arguing, so I put my head under my pillow and plugged my ears. The next morning, I thought I could go get our box of secrets from Mia's room and ask my dad to give it to her. I thought it might help her get better. The door was open, Sam was in the couch. It smelled like booze and there were a lot of bottles on the floor. I asked him if I could go to Mia's room to get something. He had trouble articulating but ended up telling me to do what I wanted. I get upstairs, Mia's room had been ravaged, and everything was upside down. I started looking for our box in all this junk. I heard noises coming from downstairs"

_Flashback_

"Mia it's you?" Sam asked

"No that's Ava, I asked you if I can get something for Mia remember?"

Sam staggered up the stairs and opened the door violently.

"You shouldn't be there" He glace was so dark, Ava was petrified.

"Sorry but you say…"

She didn't had time to finish her phrase, Sam push her against the wall and pulled a gun. When she saw the gun, Ava screamed, which alerted her father.

"You killed her, you killed my little girl, that's all your fault!"

"Sam drop the gun, she's a child, please" Ava father begged him.

Sam had no intention of dropping the gun. He wanted him to feel what it felt like to lose his child. Seeing that he was ready to shoot, Ava's father came between Sam and his daughter. One shot fired, Ava's father collapsed. A pool of red blood began to spread across the floor. Sam realized what he had just done, he put his gun under his chin, a second shot went off, and he collapsed to the ground.

_Flashback end_

"My best friend and my father died because of me …" Ava said while crying


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

Seven month had passed since the last events, everything was back to normal. It was easier for Connor to understand Ava's reactions and behavior now that he was aware of her past.

It was 10am, Connor was waiting for Ava at the cafeteria. He already took her coffee, black with no milk and a lot of sugar. When she finally arrived, she was always wearing her scrubs and seemed exhausted.

"How was your morning?" Connor asked

"The ER was full, I didn't get a moment to rest" She said while slumping in the chair.

They talked five minutes before Ava's beeper went off. She finished her coffee and got up. She suddenly felt dizzy, her head was spinning. She tried to catch up to the chair but Connor caught her up and helped her sit down.

"You okay? It's not the first time this has happened to you. Do you eat this morning?"

"I'm fine, I'm just tired"

"You sure? We should get you to the ER to check"

"I'm an adult Connor, I can take care of myself and I don't need a babysitter!" She said before leaving.

At this moment, Will arrived, he didn't see the quarrel.

"Hey, Connor, I have something to ask you, you and Ava, are you planning on making it official?"

"Maybe not anymore" He answered before leaving.

Will didn't understand, Connor seemed so angry. He saw Natalie speaking with Maggie two tables behind and asked them if they knew anything. They didn't follow the whole conversation, but they explained that Connor and Ava must have argued as usual.

Later that day, Connor and Ava still hadn't spoken to each other. They even got to the point where they were avoiding each other. In the ER, Ava walked from one patient to the next without stopping for a minute under Maggie's worried eye, who saw her fading away. As Natalie went to pick up a file from the nurses' station, she was also shocked by Ava's whiteness.

"She's been like this since this morning?" Nat asked.

"No, but it's getting worse by hour" Maggie answered.

Natalie knew Ava, she knew that if she pointed out the fact she did not seem to be doing well. In the best case Ava would tell her that she was fine, in the worst case, she'd get angry and say that she didn't need to be monitored. But Natalie took the risk, as soon as Ava came out of the box she was in, Nat walked over to talk with her. She didn't have time to say a word that Ava collapsed. Natalie quickly took her vitals before asking Maggie to page Connor.

"I'm not sure it's a good idea with the argument they had …"

"I don't need Connor as Ava partner, I need a cardio and Latham is in surgery"

They put Ava on a stretcher and carried her to an empty box.

When Connor answered his pager, he thought Ava wanted to talk to him. Then he was surprised to see that the call came from Dr. Manning. His anger was growing, Ava was on call at the ER, and if Natalie needed a cardio she would have paged Ava. He saw only one possibility, Ava needed his help, but she was too arrogant to ask him directly, so she asked Natalie to page him. Their relationship had been on the rocks for a week. Ava was having terrible mood swings even though she wouldn't admit it, and Connor was the one who handled it all.

He went down to the E.R. and found Natalie in the nurses' station.

"You paged me?"

"Yes come with me"

As soon as they entered the box, Connor saw Ava and turned back.

"I told her to eat and get some rest but she didn't listen... like she always does. Check her glycaemia and give her some glucose"

"That's not why I called you here. I need a cardio consult"

"Her BP is a bit low and her heart rate is high"

"Please, Connor, stop being childish and check her heart"

He went back in the box and did what Natalie asked him. His expression changed and he began to listen more assiduously.

"Can you ask Maggie to bring me the echo? You run blood test?"

"Yes but I didn't receive the results yet. I'm gonna go see what's taking so long. And I'll have Maggie bring you the echo on the way"

"Thank you Nat"

Connor performed the cardiac echo, the diagnosis was clear. He was furious, how could she keep this from him?

"Connor … What happened?"

"You passed out … Why didn't you tell me?"

He was sharp in his replies and she could see the anger and disappointment on his face.

"Tell you what?"

"For your heart"

"Because I didn't want to worry you over nothing"

"You have an aortic stenosis and an aortic regurgitation. It's not nothing Ava, it's serious!"

"Wait, what? No I have a moderate aortic stenosis, I can live with it without any problem"

Connor showed her the record of the echo.

"What do you see?"

"Same as you, aortic stenosis and aortic regurgitation but it can't be my heart"

"I can assure you it's your heart. When was your last check up, if you made any?"

"Of course I did it, I'm not stupid. It was fives month ago and everything was fine!"

"It's not possible you can't go from simple aortic stenosis to a clinical condition like yours in five months. I want the name of your cardiologist"

"I know that I'm a doctor remember? Oh and if you really want to know my cardiologist is Dr. Latham"

Connor was lost, he couldn't have been wrong, the echo speaks for itself and he knew Dr. Latham couldn't have missed it. How could Ava's condition have deteriorated so badly in the space of five months?

At this moment, Natalie arrived with the results of the blood test.

"Connor, can you leave us please?"

"No, please, stay" Ava's voice trembled, he could see the fear on her face, and her eyes gradually filled with tears.

Natalie's tone was serious and deeply concerning. Connor sat on the bed, took Ava's hand and squeezed it.

"Your white blood cells are quite high but your hematocrit is low so they run some other test. You are pregnant Ava. According to your Beta-HCG levels you should be 4-6 weeks pregnant"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes they did the test three times, but we can do an echo if you want?"

"Um yes, let do the echo"

Natalie lifted up Ava's shirt, applied the gel, and began. No sooner had the ultrasound probe touched Ava's belly than a loud heartbeat was heard. Connor and Ava knew something was wrong, and Natalie's face changed completely. She looked shocked and worried.

"Is something wrong?" Connor asked, Ava was totally petrified.

"I think there's been a mistake about the state of the pregnancy. Your baby seems to have 6 months"


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

Her heart started to accelerate, her breathing became shorter, she was panicking.

"No, it can't be possible, I … I, no, how?"

Her breathing became erratic, her hands were shaking Connor tried to calm her down but nothing helped, the more the time passed, the more agitated Ava became.

"Ava, you need to calm down, listen to me, look at Connor and try to follow his breathing" said Natalie, trying to calm her down in turn.

Ava took her advice, but she couldn't stop herself, she felt like she was choking. The tremors in her hands had turned into a powerful constriction of her muscles that was taking up more and more ground. She felt a tingling sensation that gradually spread through her body. She knew she had to calm down, that it was only an anxiety attack and it would pass as it always did. She was used to this kind of crisis, she usually knew how to handle them, but this time it was different. She felt so weak and out of breath to the point that her vision started to blur, flashes of light appeared in her eyes. The whole thing was amplified by the noise of the machines starting to run crazy.

Seeing how bad things were getting, Natalie decided to take the lead. She removed the pillows from under Ava's head and made sure she was lying flat to maximize her breathing. She took the first bag she could find and held it to Ava's face, forcing her to breathe into it. She injected her a little dose of anxiolytics, Ava's breathing finally seemed to stabilize and she fell into unconsciousness.

Connor was completely lost, still reeling from the recent events. His hands were clasping tightly to Ava's, he could gradually feel her body relax. He wasn't used to show his emotions, but he couldn't resist breaking into tears.

"She's gonna be ok, it was a pretty exhausting day, she needed time to process those new information"

"I know, I just hate seeing her like that, I was completely freaked out and I felt so helpless"

"She needs you more than ever and you're not helpless, you were there for her in every time. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is being there and hold her hand"

"And what about the baby?"

"I'm not a specialist but I saw something strange, I need to send the record to an obstetrician and we probably need to do more scans. But don't worry I can be wrong and I know a really good obstetrician, she is one of the best. I can ask her to handle Ava's case, if you want of course"

"Yeah thank you Nat"

Sometimes later, Ava slowly regain consciousness. Her mind was still a little foggy from the last events.

"Hey sweet heart, how do you feel?"

"A little bit dizzy, what happened?"

"You got a big panic attack, don't you remember?"

"Oh, it wasn't only a bad dream …"

"Is it so bad for you, having a baby with me?"

"No, no, absolutely not. Having a baby wasn't planned for now. I mean, I never even really thought about it. I'm so stupid, how could I've missed that. I mean I'm a doctor, I should have realized I was pregnant"

"Ava you couldn't have known, there was no signs, it's the principle of pregnancy denial"

"I feel like I'm going crazy, first PTSD, now pregnancy denial, what's next?"

"You're not crazy Ava, you've been through so much lately and they've all made you stronger. You're an amazing woman and we're gonna get through this together" he said, taking her hand.

"So you aren't mad?"

"No, why should I be mad?"

"I don't even know if you wanted kids, especially whit me and I don't want you to feel obligated to take on this baby"

"I admit that having a baby was not part of my plans for the moment but now that he's here I can't see my life without this baby and without you either ..."

"So, the baby is okay?"

"You need to promise me to stay calm"

"What is it about Connor? You're scaring me"

"Nat saw something strange, she says she could be wrong but she prefer asking for a second advice. We have an appointment with Dr. Clarke in one hour, according to Nat she is one of the best"

Ava was too tired to proceed all of this, she asked Connor to come and lie next to her. She needed to feel him, to feel she wasn't alone. His presence was enough to reassure her. He climbed up on the bed, wrapped his arms around her and gently put his hands on her belly, which was starting to grow round. It had been a long day, they were both exhausted. It wasn't long before both of them fell into a peaceful sleep.

Connor was awakened by the sound of someone knocking on the door. It was Maggie picking them up for the appointment.

"Sorry to woke you up but it's time" she whispered.

Connor smiled sweetly and gently woke Ava up. He wished he could have let her sleep longer, she seemed so peaceful.

"Hey sweet heart it's time to go" he said softly as he ran his hand through her hair.

Ava didn't say anything, but Connor could see it in her eyes how worried she was. Then he remembered what Natalie told him earlier that day. He took her hand, held it tight and whispered that everything would be all right and that he was there for her.

They headed to Dr. Clarke's office, she greeted them with a big smile and tried to make them comfortable.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Eliza Clarke, Dr. Manning told me about your case. So it's your first pregnancy and according to your first scan you're about six month, is that right?"

"Yes I actually found out today that I was pregnant … I made a pregnancy denial"

"Sometimes theses little things like to hide but don't you worry the most important is that this little sneaky guy showed up before the delivery. Since this is your first pregnancy and even though I know you're both doctors, I'm going to explain everything step by step"

She positioned Ava on the table, lifted her top to uncover her stomach and put a layer of gel on it. She also apologized for the cold sensation and started the examination.

"So the head is normal, nuchal translucency is normal, I can count 10 fingers and 10 toes. I can't see any anomalies, now let's move on to the part that worried Dr. Manning"

She turned the screen so Connor and Ava could see and stated focusing on the baby heart.

"Okay, here you can see two ventricles, two atriums. Here we are, as you can see this is the aorta and this is the pulmonary artery. Normally they cross but here we can see they are parallels, it's a condition called transposition of the great vessels. The name is scary but nowadays this pathology is very well managed and your child will be able to have a perfectly normal life"

"Thank you so much doctor" Connor said while Ava was staring at the image of her baby on the screen.

"I invite you to come to my office to discuss the takeover"

She held some paper to Ava so she can remove the gel from her belly and helped her to sit down.

"Oh I almost forget to ask you if you want to know the sex of the baby"

The two of them looked a little dazed, they hadn't had time to think about it yet.

"Take your time, I'll be in my office, come when you decide" she said leaving the room.

"Look Connor I know it's a lot to take in and I don't want to force this choice on you but I need to know to make it real"

"Thank God for once we agree"


End file.
